After spending hundreds of hours with clients both in-person and online (and I’m still only starting), I am surprised. Surprised at the freedom and power my clients have discovered through very simple practices and being present to their bodies. Surprised again and again, together with my clients, how necessary sex education is – no matter the age. How better off we would all be if we had at least some education on our body’s wisdom and empowered consent.

When I started a few years ago in Vilnius, Lithuania, I wasn’t even sure if people would have enough interest to pay and dedicate consistent time for sexual self care and education. Also – what in the world is somatic sex education to begin with? Neither a psychology degree, nor the more familiar coaching, nor a tantric practice. Something new, something with bit of everything – but mostly, simply unfamiliar.

So I started by having a slightly outrageous Instagram page talking mainly about transgressive sexualities, giving talks and workshops at Kinky Pink (my first talk was on Communicating Desires in Group Sex in probably their third or second party and it went so well) and other events, including attempting to form an online community based on anti-fascist approach to sluttiness – created by my colleague Sarah Martin. I especially appreciated participating in the queer feminist Sapfo festival in 2023 which connected me with queer clients. Most of my clients are queer now, and I am really joyful to be able to support them.

Then Paleistuves (Harlots) did an interview with me for Fantazijos.lt and after that the podcast Žaidžiam Žmogų (Playing Human) also opened my practice to more people – I’m so grateful for these two opportunities as they were sensitive, intelligent and real conversations. Since then I participated in a few more interviews, including the new podcast on sexuality in Lithuania Tinklalaide O hosted by the wonderful sex educator Akvilė Giniota, which I’m so excited about. I am to this day quite nervous about doing any recordings, and I choose carefully who to speak to.

As all of that was happening, I was still enjoying interacting with many of you on Instagram – after getting more followers and hearing from so many people that it’s impossible to find dates (kinky and/or sex positive) I decided to host an old fashioned match-making on my Instagram – you sent me a few lines about yourself and what you’re looking for, I posted it, and people could respond to your ad. Of course I got banned. And then banned again, so I stopped my affair with social media. But I got quite a few messages of very successful dates. Please do send me any updates on those connections even though it has been a few years now!

Being pushed out of social media was upsetting both personally and politically because people were certainly hungry for more content and education and censorship is still getting worse every day. Now I have a new Instagram page, but I rarely post anything on it. But either way, it was the right time to really focus on 1:1 work and go deep.

And I am still in that depth currently. I still have so much to learn, to apply, to understand and allow myself not to understand. But from time to time, we pause with clients and laugh – “this is some really queer shit we’re doing here”. And then we continue going at their pace, practicing listening to their bodies, discovering desires and celebrating them, grieving the past and present, noticing challenges and easefulness with curiosity. I also stumble, question and reflect, and with the help of both my bi-weekly peer support and my colleagues from the institute, many books and training, I adjust, address and attempt to remain open, responsible and accountable for this very human work – the work of being joyfully intimate with oneself and others.

Do read this as a little appreciation letter to both my teachers and my clients. I am currently closed for new clients, as I’m also hoping to finally finish my training soon, but I so look forward to interacting with more of you, being present to your journeys and making this world a more pleasant place for all.